Beautiful Leaf Musings

My first workweek of retirement has been very memorable! It started off normally as my wife, youngest daughter and I cleaned up the house and finished leftovers following the New Year weekend and the Sunday night football party which revealed a Minnesota Vikings loss to the Green Bay Packers (sigh). We prepared to drive to the Twin Cities for the following week which included a couple of celebratory retirement dinners and a corporate event sponsored by my former employer. On Tuesday, however, it became clear things were not going to play out quite the way we thought. As we drove the four hours from home to the cities, the number of participants in the Wednesday night dinner began to dwindle quickly due to illnesses (COVID and otherwise) and legitimate concerns about exposure to illnesses. After the number of confirmed attendees fell below 50% of those expected, we decided to cancel the event entirely. While the correct decision, this was an excellent time to reflect on the quote from Epictetus and the Serenity Prayer noted in today’s travel post.

In an effort to make lemonade from lemons, we decided to go to the venue at which the dinner would have been held (Moscow On The Hill – “MOH”) to celebrate on our own. In an awesome display of graciousness, we were joined by my coworker Bill, with whom I have worked for more than 20 years and traveled extensively. While nothing would be a complete substitute for the dinner that wasn’t, the staff at MOH took great care of us and provided an evening which served as a great starting point for the celebrations scheduled for the following day.

Wednesday held the promise of two events: a hybrid enterprise gathering and a dinner hosted by my wife and me to celebrate many of those individuals who had been hugely influential in my career. Would the day hold up under the pressures of influenza and COVID, or would the number of participants decline again? Thankfully, the former was the case! The enterprise event began with an opportunity to talk for about 40 minutes via Zoom with individuals who attended the event virtually. The event then expanded to include in-person attendees. Due to a positive COVID test for our CEO, Bill served as emcee for the event, which included three lovely presentations by coworkers (including by our CEO, Chris, via Zoom), treats (including cake), and fellowship following the presentations. The enterprise event was followed by a dinner at Louis Ristorante at which approximately 30 friends, family and coworkers gathered for an evening of celebration (down 25% for the reasons stated previously). We were even joined by Parker William, a young local magician, who provided some magical (pun intended) entertainment to begin the evening! The staff at Louis did a wonderful job, and the atmosphere could only be described as loud and festive!

In conclusion, planning a wintertime retirement party always carries with it some weather-related risks but early 2022 also carried with it risk related to COVID. Even while following protocols related to vaccines, masking and adequate space, we were able to pull together very successful recognition events.

While the events were incomplete in the sense that some individuals were unable to attend due to illness or positive COVID tests, I am deeply appreciative of my former employer for hosting the events and for providing such a memorable send-off. I am forever grateful for the efforts of Beth, Chris, Emily, Bill, Kristi, Koleen, Mary, Jim and Barb as they demonstrated great flexibility, perseverance, creativity and dedication in pulling the events together. Their commitment to providing positive recognition to a guy on his way out is both gratifying and humbling. It speaks to the quality of employer who provided me great career satisfaction for over 37 years, and of the people who work there. I will be forever grateful.

We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.

John F. Kennedy

Today is Saturday, January 1, 2022. So, Happy New Year to you! For me, the day represents not only the beginning of a new year, but also of a new phase of life as today is my first official day of retirement. As I recently mentioned to a friend, while I’ve given this phase a great deal of thought and have received great advice and support from others, I’d be a fool to think I have it figured out. But that’s the future. For this blog entry I simply wanted to recount the last several days to give you an idea of how things unfolded.

To begin with, email traffic dropped significantly as it often does during the holiday season. As a result, there were few interruptions to vacation beyond the organization of the retirement celebrations the week of January 3. Then, as 12/31 approached, I contacted the company’s technology area to wipe clean my mobile devices of any company-related applications or data. This involves deleting everything on the phone or iPad and starting over as if the device were new (and, ultimately, downloading backed-up data from the cloud). Although this action takes some time, the process went relatively smoothly. The hard part, I found, was communicating to certain company contacts that I was disconnecting from the company’s communication platforms. And when I say “hard part,” I mean I felt some emotion over it. I guess the severing of the means of communication that have been a central part of a person’s life for nearly four decades has some deep roots! The good news is the reaction passed fairly quickly upon the realization that this step guaranteed fewer interruptions not only in the short term, but for years to come.

On 12/31, there were a number of steps that needed to be taken to “close the loop” on my various duties with my employer. Forms to be signed, resignations to put in place, and emails to be written. Then, mid-afternoon, it was time for a short nap to ensure I could make it to midnight later that evening. I set my alarm so I could get up and celebrate the passing of 4:45 p.m., the end of my typical workday. Now, here’s the fun part: when I walked out to the kitchen, my wife and youngest daughter were waiting with a bottle of champagne to toast the event. Coincidentally, the bubbly was from a vineyard located in Carmel in the Valley, California, the three of us had visited together a few years ago. They then broke into a rousing rendition of “For he’s a jolly good fellow.” I was indeed, at that moment, a jolly fellow!

So, this morning I now sit writing my first blog while retired. From here, I still have a few things to wrap up like canceling my corporate credit card, returning my technology, and celebrating this career milestone with many very good friends and wonderful family. In the next few weeks I intend to enter a description of my thoughts following the retirement celebrations of the coming week, as well as to provide more background on the steps I have taken to enhance the likelihood of a successful transition to retirement. My previous entries have only scratched the surface, and have not gotten into my trait self-assessment, purpose identification, or “Tree of Life.” I hope you find them interesting.

The end of labor is to gain leisure.

Aristotle (384 – 322 BCE)

In many ways I think we’ve lost the sight of the purpose of free time. We seem to immediately equate idleness with laziness but those two things are very different. “Leisure” is not a synonym for “inactive” – idleness offers an opportunity for Play, something people rarely indulge in these days.

Celeste Headlee, American radio journalist, author, public speaker, and co-host of the weekly series Retro Report on PBS.

Retirement represents the upending of, perhaps, years of routine, of identity, of social interaction, and of those things that had importance in the context of a job and career. The big question is then “what do I now to meet my needs related to social interaction and purpose?” Or, more fundamentally, “what are my needs related to social interaction and purpose?”

I think Chapter 2 of Hyrum Smith’s book Purposeful Retirement gets it right in identifying that even the fundamental question above hinges on turning in your title (i.e., your work identity) and figuring out that you have value simply because you are you. Once you challenge and dispel some of the beliefs that underlie the importance you attribute to a title or identification with work, you can begin to work on the questions in the paragraph above. Smith uses the following examples of beliefs that sometimes get in the way of a successful retirement transition:

• Unemployed people are lazy;
• Personal value comes only through hard work;
• Important people have important titles; and,
• If I am busy I am important.

I suspect each of us would resonate at different levels with the various beliefs that can create a transition challenge. For me, the second and fourth bullets above hold the greatest challenge. Let’s take a deeper look at these two beliefs.

Personal value comes only through hard work. Having grown up on a farm where there is always work to be done and there are no performance appraisals delivered by your boss, you learn to take pride in the work that gets done and the outcome that’s produced. And, it’s often built on the belief that “the only work worth doing is hard.” Smith provides an example in the book of an individual who had many family activities that were either missed or interrupted due to work. Because the individual was needed at work, there was little guilt associated with such absences or interruptions. I can relate to this individual’s story as I experienced the same thing in my career. Rarely did a vacation go by that wasn’t interrupted in some way by work-related events that necessitated (or did they?) my involvement. In Smith’s example, now that the individual is retired, however, he is expected by family members to be at all family events because “what else did he have to do?”. The exponential growth of family events that interrupted this person’s “checklist of things to get done” was a serious irritation to the retiree as his perceived lack of productivity was a clear departure from his hard work belief. The solution, for the individual in the example and for me, is to realize that time with family and taking time for conversation IS a valuable substitute for the checklist items. Note, however, I still believe the “all things in moderation” statement holds within it some truth. I’ve been working on this belief and, hopefully, my family has noticed…. In addition to family time, this “hard work” belief has also gotten in the way of regular exercise for me. After all, when you grow upon the farm your work IS your exercise. Regular exercise is one of my earliest priorities.

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

Oscar Wilde

If I am busy I am important. Surprisingly, I think this belief is dealt with using the very tools we’re taught early in a business career. In a world of emails, social media and 24/7 news coverage, it’s easy to get caught up in the sheer volume of information and related activities (e.g., browsing the Internet and following the endless ratholes it holds). The key is to stop being busy and start being productive. In other words, time management, prioritization, and discipline. As Smith says in his book, “[w]hen you feel productive, you feel great at the end of the day.” And for this purpose, I interpret productive to mean having engaged in some degree of activities that provide value to you. If you’re a person who enjoys interacting with people, being a greeter at Walmart all day will make you feel good, while mowing the lawn may not. For me, I have found that I will be best served, at least at this stage, by having a routine and figuring out the balance between, and the timing of, reading, exercise, creative activities in the woodshop, joint activities with my amazing spouse, family time, time with friends, educational time, volunteerism, and hobbies. To accomplish this, I’ll need to limit the daily amount of time spent on, for example, emails and social media. I don’t need to be as responsive to emails as I was at work, so I won’t be. “Either you consciously plan and decide how you want to fill your time and act purposefully or you allow outside forces to fill your time for you.” (Purposeful Retirement at page 45.)

Congratulations if you see the potential conflict between these two beliefs and the steps necessary to counteract them in retirement. No one said it was going to be easy, but it sure holds the prospect of being fun!

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.

J. Lubbock

A reflection on the past 75 days.

It was mid-September when we identified the date on which my successor would start at my place of employment. We decided that she would take over my roles effective on the date of our October board meeting, we would transition from mid-October to late December, and I would retire effective January 1. In addition, we had to develop a strategy to communicate the changes to my leadership team, to the departments reporting to me, to members of senior management, and more. While the recruitment process had taken months, its conclusion came together very quickly.

As we finalized the plans described above, there was some debate as to whether I would retain my titles until the end of the year or only until the October board meeting when my successor would officially join the members of senior management. I took a few days to think about this and, in the end, concluded it was best for me, my successor and the organization to have the changes, including staff reporting relationships, take effect in mid-October. I would become Executive Legal Advisor, a role which allowed me to provide counsel to my successor and our CEO, and which established clear roles and responsibilities between me and my successor until my retirement. But, my roles as chief legal officer and corporate secretary, which I had worked towards for my entire career and had held for the past nearly 10 years, would end in a mere three weeks. How did I feel about it?

As I stated in a prior blog, my mantra has been “I work to live, not the other way around.” Further, while I have identified with the job titles as reflective of my role, they have not defined how I work with people. I prefer to work collaboratively with people and have seldom had to use “position authority” to get things done. Individually these two approaches don’t mean much, but collectively the result was that perhaps I didn’t identify with the titles as much as someone who is in the “kicking and screaming” camp as defined by Smith in his book, Purposeful Retirement, described in an earlier blog. In addition, I have always known that I had several titles: son, husband, dad, brother, mentor, mentee, and so on.

I was not; I have been; I am not; I do not mind.

Epicurus

In his book “How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free,” Ernie Zelinski states that the mind has been destructive if “it has created a false identity that is solely associated with your career or job. This identity is false because it is nothing more than a fiction of the mind.” Zelinski goes on to state that “[y]ou must transcend your own mind and societal thinking to discover and get in touch with your true identity – or “essence” as some spiritual leaders call it.” It’s this getting in touch with my personal essence that led me to the book “Why Buddism is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment” by Robert Wright. I’ll spend more time on this book in later blog entries. For now, let’s focus on Zelinski’s approach to finding your “essence.”

• Start by imagining that work in the world was abolished. Write down what kind of person you would want to be in a non-work world. In addition, write down your 5 best traits. If you’re not sure where to start, ask someone who isn’t currently employed how they describe themselves.
• Look at it, read it. Again and again. Tweak it if you must. After you’ve done this, you should realize that your true self is based on the experience of being human, and the joy and peace of mind that accompany the experience of being human.
• And what does it mean to “be human?” Your true self is not based on some superficial identity, work-related or otherwise. Your true self is based on more profound things, such as your creativity, kindness, passionate pursuits, generosity, love, joy, spontaneity, connectedness to others, sense of humor, peace of mind, inner happiness, and spirituality.

Given all the opportunity that retirement offers for you to be your true self and become much more than you have ever been, there is no need to hang onto a work identity.

Ernie Zelinski, “How to Retire, Happy, Wild and Free.”

But what if you still want a title? While I don’t think a simple phrase will every truly define you, maybe you don’t want to simply be called a “retiree.” What would you like to be called? Have fun with it. Zelinsky gives a couple of options, including “Connoisseur of Leisure” and “Connoisseur of Life.” He goes on to provide the following talking points when you’re asked about your new title.

I am now a Connoisseur of Life. I am too prosperous to work
long and hard hours. I have earned my prosperity and deserve
the right to enjoy a creative and satisfying lifestyle. I am too spiritually
evolved to have an identity based on my work, possessions,
and net worth. Instead, my identity is based on more profound things,
including my creativity, my generosity, my spontaneity, my sense of humor,
my peace of mind, my passion for new experiences,
my happiness, and my spirituality.

I hope you find this exercise as freeing and productive as I did. Until next time, Happy Holidays!

When I reflect upon my career, I am in awe at the number of people at work who provided support during all phases. From the college to work transition, to the development within the Human Resources function, to the grueling law school phase, to the transition from HR to the Law Department, to the development within the Law function, to the transition to senior management, the sheer number of supporters I have had has been mind-boggling. I have been blessed beyond belief by the support of dozens upon dozens of people whose names include Kathy, Jerry, Keith, Laurie, Dwayne, Dennis, Bob, Sara, Mary, Don, Eric, Anna Marie, Donna, Alison, Bruce, Bill, George, Kristi, Lisa, Alyssa, JoAnn, Mike, Dan, Erich, Lyndsey, John, Sue, Rob, Chris, Larry, Melissa, Emily, etc., etc., etc. And, the beautiful thing is that the support didn’t only relate to work matters. It also related to personal matters such as a near-fatal skiing accident, the death of parents, the death of a sibling, and the birth of a child. It’s a special place where people come together not only to support the furtherance of commerce and the growth of a business, but also to support each other in times of hardship despite the prior common goal.

Sure, there have been times where certain coworkers have been challenging to work with (and vice versa, I’m sure). And while I could dwell on that, those times are dwarfed by the times of grace and gratitude. To quote Marcus Aurelius, Roman Soldier and Emperor, “Our life is what our thoughts make it.” Or, if you prefer a Greek philosopher’s view, “People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them” (Epictetus, 55 – 135).

The above, of course, addresses only the support received from coworkers. As important, of course, is the support, encouragement and “2×4 to the head moments” received from friends and family outside the work sphere. It is there where our true personalities and frustrations, unconstrained by the norms of the work environment, often come out. It is outside of work, therefore, where a great amount of gratitude is also warranted. So, my thanks to family members who didn’t see me much during the law school years, to those whose vacations were impacted by the predictable work events that would disrupt our time off, to my children who sacrificed time with their father due to the demands of work and to the friends who provided a listening ear so that I had somewhere to vent.

I am truly touched by the people who take time to develop others, whether in their professional or personal lives. I have clearly benefited from such people and my appreciation for their efforts is beyond my capacities of explanation. For those of you who helped further my career, who helped me view things in a different light, and who made me a better person, I am forever grateful that you took the time to do so. “No man is wise enough by himself,” Plautus, Roman playwright (254 – 184 BCE).

I’ll provide more on this topic as I move past the next few weeks and into retirement itself.

Those who know me know that I’ve spent years thinking about and planning retirement. In fact, when my employer first implemented LotusNotes as our email system, my first password was, and remained for many years, “retirement.”

According to Hyrum W. Smith in his book entitled, Purposeful Retirement, there are two “camps” of retirees: those who have been planning and looking forward to their retirement since the day they started their first real job, and those who go out the door kicking and screaming because retirement looms before them like an empty abyss. My years of research and planning, as well as my password choice, would suggest I’m in the former camp.

When I worked in Human Resources and counseled individuals contemplating retirement, I often walked away with a perception very consistent with Smith’s characterization of the two camps. Some individuals were going to slip into retirement as easily as they put on comfortable slippers, while others were going to require the equivalent of the shoehorn they had used their entire career to slip on their retirement footwear.

Retirement is a gift of time and of opportunities. But, we have to recognize it for what it is and what it is not. The challenge is not to view retirement as the transition into a rocking chair, but as the chance to do the things we used to like to do, the things we currently like to do, and the things we’ve always wanted to do. The challenge is to NOT check out and just retire. Early in my career I adopted the mantra “I work to live, not the other way around.” Now, as I stand at the doorframe of retirement from my place of employment for 37+ years, I’ve decided I need to modify the mantra. Hence it is now “I retire to live, not from living.”

I am now two calendar weeks away from my last day of employment, but only days away from the preceding vacation. It’s been slightly more than 2 months since my successor began her employment with the company. I am fortunate in that we have worked very well together as we developed and executed a plan which positions her well for her transition into a familiar role but with a new employer. The ease with which we discuss topics and context have allowed me the luxury of a glide path towards retirement rather than a cliff, a situation I imagine is more difficult to transition from. I’ve been able to clean up files, discuss current and historical matters, and chat over times old and new with colleagues I’ve worked with for many years. In fact, I’ve even been able to complete a few Continuing Legal Education credits I’ve so badly delayed during COVID.

I have always viewed life as consisting of three phases: education and career preparation; career and family; and retirement. But my definition of retirement is aligned with that of Smith, and focuses on how to have a retirement rich in experiences and fulfillment. It has never included the image of a rocking chair. More like sliding into the grave battered and bruised due to continued activities and, well, living. I must admit there have been days where I didn’t have the distraction of meetings, leaving voids in my calendar which allowed the shadows of doubt about my own retirement to creep in. But, in the end, the years of thought and preparation are paying off. The assurances of a loving and graceful spouse, conversations with good friends, the creation of this website, the accumulation of many hobbies over the years, and the development of my own “Tree of Life” (more on that in a later blog) have allowed me to push aside the doubts and continue on this wonderful journey into my next phase of life.

Thank you, my dear friends, for your friendship and support.

The idea of a post-retirement website arose many years ago. In fact, the legal entity “Beautiful Leaf,” along with its related DBAs, was reserved several years ago, as was the domain name “beautifulleaf.net.” The website is a work in progress and will, hopefully, mature as I do!