Beautiful Leaf Musings

For this blog entry I’m going to focus on my second aspect of non-financial retirement planning: friends who helped upon the way. And by helped, I mean either supported, encouraged or introduced areas of exploration for me as I considered retirement and what it would mean for me.

Peter Stathopoulos, mentioned in part 1 of this blog entry, was one such individual. As stated in that entry, Peter “gave me several things: realization of how fortunate I am and have been; an outlook on life through the eyes of someone with a fatal diagnosis; and appreciation of travel as a way to learn more about oneself and humankind.” Peter and I first met in the late 1980s when he supported the area in which I worked at our common employer. Peter and I enjoyed working together and we stayed in touch for several years after he left our employer to further his career elsewhere. However, our connections occurred with less frequency over time until they they hardly occurred at all. Then, through a highly unpredictable twist of fate involving the birth of our oldest granddaughter and my wife and I killing time visiting condominiums for sale until we could get into the hospital to see her, I was given a chance to reconnect with Peter. As his disease progressed over the next four years we interacted many times. It started with visits to the neighborhood in which his condo was located, moved to a restaurant and, finally, to his parent’s home. Our discussions always revolved around his work with medical professionals to find a cure for ALS, experimental treatments he might undergo, and our common love for travel. It was clear Peter was taking in every aspect of the travels I was undertaking; travels he could not, due to his illness, take on his own. It was through Peter’s questioning that I learned about the power of travel to bring people together across cultures, and to educate within our own culture. I miss Peter, but I know that he is with me in every step I take as I travel.

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!

Dr. Seuss

Another person who helped me prepare for retirement is Sue. Sue was an executive coach that I worked with for slightly less than two years, ending shortly before my retirement. Sue’s contribution to my retirement was two-fold. First, she helped me identify with clarity my personal traits. It’s these traits that provided the framework for my exploration of the book “Purposeful Retirement,” mentioned previously. Second, she provided structure and accountability as I considered and prepared for retirement. Sue made sure I was thinking through what my retirement would look like and how I would use my personal traits to bring enjoyment to my years ahead. She also made sure I considered whether my wife and I were on the same page! Most importantly, she encouraged me to share my story. She thought it was interesting and felt others would feel the same way. While a friend at Securian suggested I write this blog, I could not, and probably would not, have done it without the encouragement from Sue.

Friendship is when people know all about you but like you anyway.

Unknown

A third person who deeply influenced my preparations for retirement is my best friend, Ron. Ron and I share curiosity as a deeply imbedded trait. While I supplement curiosity with drive and a penchant to get things done, Ron brings to the table a degree of patience, wisdom, and thoughtfulness that I frequently lack. In addition, Ron is able to put to words, in a way I cannot, experiences and emotions. He has, unknowingly, encouraged me to improve in this area through our symposia (i.e., our after dinner discussions and beer-sampling meetings). During these symposia, Ron and I discuss family, philosophy, theology, politics and, of course, travel. Our discussions are often spurred by travel I am currently researching, by current events, by books we have read, or by college lectures we have enjoyed via Wondrium. Some of the books we have read together, and which have deepened our friendship through the common exploration of interesting topics, include:

• “At the Existentialist Café: Freedom, Being, and Apricot Cocktails with Jean-Paul Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir, Albert Camus, Martin Heidegger, Maurice Merleau-Ponty and Others.” Named one of the Ten Best Books of 2016 by the New York Times, this book provides a spirited account of a major intellectual movement of the twentieth century and the revolutionary thinkers who came to shape it.
• “The Swerve: How the World Became Modern.” The Swerve is a winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Nonfiction, a Winner of the National Book Award, and a New York Times Bestseller. As described by Amazon, “[i]n the winter of 1417, a short, genial, cannily alert man in his late thirties plucked a very old manuscript off a dusty shelf in a remote monastery, saw with excitement what he had discovered, and ordered that it be copied. He was Poggio Bracciolini, the greatest book hunter of the Renaissance. His discovery, Lucretius’ ancient poem On the Nature of Things, had been almost entirely lost to history for more than a thousand years.”
• “Why Buddhism is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment.” As described by Amazon, “[a]t the heart of Buddhism is a simple claim: The reason we suffer—and the reason we make other people suffer—is that we don’t see the world clearly. At the heart of Buddhist meditative practice is a radical promise: We can learn to see the world, including ourselves, more clearly and so gain a deep and morally valid happiness. In this “sublime” (The New Yorker), pathbreaking book, Robert Wright shows how taking this promise seriously can change your life—how it can loosen the grip of anxiety, regret, and hatred, and how it can deepen your appreciation of beauty and of other people. He also shows why this transformation works, drawing on the latest in neuroscience and psychology, and armed with an acute understanding of human evolution.”
• “Ten Global Trends Every Smart Person Should Know: And Many Others You Will Find Interesting.” From Amazon: “Think the world is getting worse? If so, you’re wrong. The world is, for the most part, actually getting better. But 58 percent of people in 17 countries who were surveyed in 2016 thought that the world was either getting worse or staying the same. Americans were even more glum: 65 percent thought the world was getting worse and only 6 percent thought it was getting better. The uncontroversial data on major global trends in this book will persuade you that this dark view of the state of humanity and the natural world is, in large part, badly mistaken.”
• “Great Decisions 2022.” This book is utilized by the national, grassroots foreign policy discussion program sponsored by the Foreign Policy Association. The mission of the FPA is “today, as it has been for over 100 years, to serve as a catalyst for developing awareness, understanding, and informed opinion on U.S. foreign policy and global issues. Through its balanced, nonpartisan programs and publications, the FPA encourages citizens to participate in the foreign policy process.”

In addition, we have travelled extensively with Ron and his wife Jan. As mentioned throughout these blog entries, I find travel to be my greatest source of personal realization and development, including the deepening of relationships. Together, Ron and I have experienced a great many things that have helped me develop the way I think about the world and my preparations for retirement. Finally, because Ron retired several years ago, he has provided me with insights from his experience that have been helpful in my thought process.

Of course, the person most influential in my retirement journey has been my wife, my partner in retirement. While we are early in the journey, her patience throughout my career and with my personality traits (which make me both endearing and maddeningly frustrating), grace, beauty, resilience, and strength have made it possible. It is to her I owe the deepest gratitude.

In closing, please find below a piece written by Ron, mentioned above. The thing I love about this writing is it expresses how Ron and I view life and our exploration of new thoughts and ideas together.

I am no longer who I was,
That is my joy.
Who I am now, I will never be again.

This is my knowledge.
What I shall be is informed by my past, influenced by my now,

and created by my existence.
This is my true self.

I am forever grateful to these and the many, many other individuals who helped me in this transition. Thank you….

The way I think about it, there are two areas of preparation when it comes to retirement: financial and non-financial. In other words, can you afford the type of retirement you want and what you need to do to prepare for such a retirement. The financial preparation aspect gets a lot of press, in part because of the multitude of financial planners who want your business to help you accomplish your financial objectives. It’s also the easier of the two areas to quantify. The non-financial preparation category, on the other hand, gets far less press. You typically see this topic discussed either in the self-help section of your favorite bookstore (or Amazon) or by life coaches who want your business. It’s also the harder of the two to nail down. In my opinion, you need to identify your non-financial objectives BEFORE you can identify the financial objectives. The non-financial objectives are the end, while the financial objectives are the means to the end.

I never contemplated retirement in my 30s or 40s as I enjoyed following my career aspirations. But, I had identified late 50s/early 60s as my ideal age range in which to retire, primarily because of my love of travel and my many hobbies. I knew I wanted to have time during my “go-go sixties” to enjoy these activities while still being physically able. But, I also knew that keeping busy wasn’t the only thing I needed to think about. There’s a huge psychological component to retirement as well. We, as humans, need to feel as if we have made a difference, in whatever way is important to us. To advance my preparations, I hit the books and talked to friends. As I’ve stated before, I don’t pretend to have this “retirement thing” nailed. It’s a work in progress and I find a new facet arises every day. The purpose of this series of posts is to give a high-level view of my approach, which I expect to further evolve in the weeks, months and years to come.

For today’s post I’ll focus on the book element of my preparations. Please note that I could go on at some length on this topic, but I’ve worked hard to keep today’s post at a reasonable length.

One must always be careful of books,” said Tessa, “and what is inside them, for words have the power to change us.

Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

There have been a handful of books I have found that significantly molded my way of thinking about retirement. They frequently involved travel, but also made me think outside that singular element my newfound freedom permits. The first book is Purposeful Retirement by Hyrum Smith. While my initial reaction to Smith’s book was that it was dry, I found some great pointers in it, as discussed in a previous blog entry. I found some of the exercises to be helpful, particularly the “Purposeful Planning Questions” found at the end of each chapter. Through the resulting self-reflection you find those soft spots where further reflection might be useful. The title for the some of the chapters within the book give you an idea of nuanced areas of focus: Turning in the Title; Discovered Values, Directed Time; Purposeful Planning; Make a Difference; Retiring Together; and Purposeful Happiness.

A second book which helped me prepare for retirement is Why Buddism is True by Robert Wright. This book was particularly helpful in identifying for me ways to interpret why I was thinking and feeling what I was thinking and feeling. It gave me a framework through which to process the approach and feelings of transitioning from a lifestyle job and career to retirement. It also gave me a way to think about self-care through philosophy and meditation. Plus, it’s just a darn funny book to read (or listen to via audio book). Wright’s humor amidst this somewhat foreign topic is awesome and makes the book all the more enjoyable.

The next two books that had the greatest impact were Travels with Epicurus by Daniel Klein and Traveling with the Fates by my late friend Peter Stathopoulos. The Epicurus book gave me insight into what I hope to get from travel (i.e., learning about and contribute to other cultures beneath the veneer of tourism at a pace which allows me to me to meet the locals and truly observe their daily ways of life). The late chef Anthony Bourdain was a master of this in the context of a cooking show. His dinner table discussions with local residents of the places he visited were, for me, often the highlight of his “Parts Unknown” shows. I have often enjoyed such conversations with locals, or with other travelers, while on vacation and, through this introspection, came to realize how important that is to me. Peter’s “Fates” book gave me several things: realization of how fortunate I am and have been; an outlook on life through the eyes of someone with a fatal diagnosis; and appreciation of travel as a way to learn more about oneself and humankind. The Walt Whitman poem “Song of the Open Road” describes this by stating that the open road is where a man experiences realization and is “tallied.” “He realizes here what he has in him….” Peter’s book also lays bare the cost of waiting. In his prologue Peter states that he had long dreamt of taking a trip to Greece with his children but had “never quite gotten around d to do so, waiting for the perfect time.” He goes on to state “I realized this sort of time-out-of-time together would soon be limited by the logistics of their lives blooming in multiple directions. Five days before we left for Greece, my diagnosis with ALS revealed just how limited it was.” [emphasis added] Peter was a good friend and a gifted writer. His 92-page book is a legacy to his kind, caring, and adventurous soul.

Last, but certainty not least, my favorite book focused on retirement planning is “How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free” by Ernie Zelinski. I love Zelinski’s optimistic approach to encouraging the reader to identify what he or she wants out of retirement. Zelinski uses stories from readers and other authors to bring to life the process of transitioning to and during retirement. The book is filled with insightful quotes, humorous cartoons, practical exercises, and references to resources to assist in the retirement journey. Zelinski also takes a minimalist approach to help his readers realize they don’t need a great deal of money to have a happy retirement. The key is to identify what you like to do and figure out how to work them into your retirement plan, while not ignoring those things that often undermine a retirement (e.g., not being active, not maintaining social connections). My three favorite take-aways from Zelinski’s book are: (1) giving oneself a new title when leaving the workforce (e.g., “Connoisseur of Life” vs “retiree”); (2) planting your “tree of life,” which is a list of things you previously liked to do, currently like to do, and have always wanted to do (i.e., a list of activities you can pull out to remind you of things that make you happy vs. simply following the daily flow of activities that may arise); and (3) a reference to the organization Help Exchange, “an online listing of host organic farms, farmstays, hobby farms, lifestyle blocks, homestays, ranches, lodges, backpackers hostels and even sailing boats who invite volunteer helpers to stay with them short-term in exchange for food and accommodation. HelpX is provided primarily as a cultural exchange for working holiday makers, who would like the opportunity during their travels abroad, to stay with local people and gain practical experience. In the typical arrangement, the helper works an average of 4 hours per day and receives free accommodation and meals for their efforts.” While I have not yet taken advantage of this program, I like the notion of getting more embedded in the local culture in a way that keeps me active and allows me to meet new people. I have established a membership (20 Euros for two years) so that I can research the opportunities and begin looking for a way to participate. More to come on this when I am able to “make it happen.”

Thank you for working through this rather lengthy entry. I hope you found it, and the links to the named resources, interesting!

My first workweek of retirement has been very memorable! It started off normally as my wife, youngest daughter and I cleaned up the house and finished leftovers following the New Year weekend and the Sunday night football party which revealed a Minnesota Vikings loss to the Green Bay Packers (sigh). We prepared to drive to the Twin Cities for the following week which included a couple of celebratory retirement dinners and a corporate event sponsored by my former employer. On Tuesday, however, it became clear things were not going to play out quite the way we thought. As we drove the four hours from home to the cities, the number of participants in the Wednesday night dinner began to dwindle quickly due to illnesses (COVID and otherwise) and legitimate concerns about exposure to illnesses. After the number of confirmed attendees fell below 50% of those expected, we decided to cancel the event entirely. While the correct decision, this was an excellent time to reflect on the quote from Epictetus and the Serenity Prayer noted in today’s travel post.

In an effort to make lemonade from lemons, we decided to go to the venue at which the dinner would have been held (Moscow On The Hill – “MOH”) to celebrate on our own. In an awesome display of graciousness, we were joined by my coworker Bill, with whom I have worked for more than 20 years and traveled extensively. While nothing would be a complete substitute for the dinner that wasn’t, the staff at MOH took great care of us and provided an evening which served as a great starting point for the celebrations scheduled for the following day.

Wednesday held the promise of two events: a hybrid enterprise gathering and a dinner hosted by my wife and me to celebrate many of those individuals who had been hugely influential in my career. Would the day hold up under the pressures of influenza and COVID, or would the number of participants decline again? Thankfully, the former was the case! The enterprise event began with an opportunity to talk for about 40 minutes via Zoom with individuals who attended the event virtually. The event then expanded to include in-person attendees. Due to a positive COVID test for our CEO, Bill served as emcee for the event, which included three lovely presentations by coworkers (including by our CEO, Chris, via Zoom), treats (including cake), and fellowship following the presentations. The enterprise event was followed by a dinner at Louis Ristorante at which approximately 30 friends, family and coworkers gathered for an evening of celebration (down 25% for the reasons stated previously). We were even joined by Parker William, a young local magician, who provided some magical (pun intended) entertainment to begin the evening! The staff at Louis did a wonderful job, and the atmosphere could only be described as loud and festive!

In conclusion, planning a wintertime retirement party always carries with it some weather-related risks but early 2022 also carried with it risk related to COVID. Even while following protocols related to vaccines, masking and adequate space, we were able to pull together very successful recognition events.

While the events were incomplete in the sense that some individuals were unable to attend due to illness or positive COVID tests, I am deeply appreciative of my former employer for hosting the events and for providing such a memorable send-off. I am forever grateful for the efforts of Beth, Chris, Emily, Bill, Kristi, Koleen, Mary, Jim and Barb as they demonstrated great flexibility, perseverance, creativity and dedication in pulling the events together. Their commitment to providing positive recognition to a guy on his way out is both gratifying and humbling. It speaks to the quality of employer who provided me great career satisfaction for over 37 years, and of the people who work there. I will be forever grateful.

We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.

John F. Kennedy

Today is Saturday, January 1, 2022. So, Happy New Year to you! For me, the day represents not only the beginning of a new year, but also of a new phase of life as today is my first official day of retirement. As I recently mentioned to a friend, while I’ve given this phase a great deal of thought and have received great advice and support from others, I’d be a fool to think I have it figured out. But that’s the future. For this blog entry I simply wanted to recount the last several days to give you an idea of how things unfolded.

To begin with, email traffic dropped significantly as it often does during the holiday season. As a result, there were few interruptions to vacation beyond the organization of the retirement celebrations the week of January 3. Then, as 12/31 approached, I contacted the company’s technology area to wipe clean my mobile devices of any company-related applications or data. This involves deleting everything on the phone or iPad and starting over as if the device were new (and, ultimately, downloading backed-up data from the cloud). Although this action takes some time, the process went relatively smoothly. The hard part, I found, was communicating to certain company contacts that I was disconnecting from the company’s communication platforms. And when I say “hard part,” I mean I felt some emotion over it. I guess the severing of the means of communication that have been a central part of a person’s life for nearly four decades has some deep roots! The good news is the reaction passed fairly quickly upon the realization that this step guaranteed fewer interruptions not only in the short term, but for years to come.

On 12/31, there were a number of steps that needed to be taken to “close the loop” on my various duties with my employer. Forms to be signed, resignations to put in place, and emails to be written. Then, mid-afternoon, it was time for a short nap to ensure I could make it to midnight later that evening. I set my alarm so I could get up and celebrate the passing of 4:45 p.m., the end of my typical workday. Now, here’s the fun part: when I walked out to the kitchen, my wife and youngest daughter were waiting with a bottle of champagne to toast the event. Coincidentally, the bubbly was from a vineyard located in Carmel in the Valley, California, the three of us had visited together a few years ago. They then broke into a rousing rendition of “For he’s a jolly good fellow.” I was indeed, at that moment, a jolly fellow!

So, this morning I now sit writing my first blog while retired. From here, I still have a few things to wrap up like canceling my corporate credit card, returning my technology, and celebrating this career milestone with many very good friends and wonderful family. In the next few weeks I intend to enter a description of my thoughts following the retirement celebrations of the coming week, as well as to provide more background on the steps I have taken to enhance the likelihood of a successful transition to retirement. My previous entries have only scratched the surface, and have not gotten into my trait self-assessment, purpose identification, or “Tree of Life.” I hope you find them interesting.

The end of labor is to gain leisure.

Aristotle (384 – 322 BCE)

In many ways I think we’ve lost the sight of the purpose of free time. We seem to immediately equate idleness with laziness but those two things are very different. “Leisure” is not a synonym for “inactive” – idleness offers an opportunity for Play, something people rarely indulge in these days.

Celeste Headlee, American radio journalist, author, public speaker, and co-host of the weekly series Retro Report on PBS.

Retirement represents the upending of, perhaps, years of routine, of identity, of social interaction, and of those things that had importance in the context of a job and career. The big question is then “what do I now to meet my needs related to social interaction and purpose?” Or, more fundamentally, “what are my needs related to social interaction and purpose?”

I think Chapter 2 of Hyrum Smith’s book Purposeful Retirement gets it right in identifying that even the fundamental question above hinges on turning in your title (i.e., your work identity) and figuring out that you have value simply because you are you. Once you challenge and dispel some of the beliefs that underlie the importance you attribute to a title or identification with work, you can begin to work on the questions in the paragraph above. Smith uses the following examples of beliefs that sometimes get in the way of a successful retirement transition:

• Unemployed people are lazy;
• Personal value comes only through hard work;
• Important people have important titles; and,
• If I am busy I am important.

I suspect each of us would resonate at different levels with the various beliefs that can create a transition challenge. For me, the second and fourth bullets above hold the greatest challenge. Let’s take a deeper look at these two beliefs.

Personal value comes only through hard work. Having grown up on a farm where there is always work to be done and there are no performance appraisals delivered by your boss, you learn to take pride in the work that gets done and the outcome that’s produced. And, it’s often built on the belief that “the only work worth doing is hard.” Smith provides an example in the book of an individual who had many family activities that were either missed or interrupted due to work. Because the individual was needed at work, there was little guilt associated with such absences or interruptions. I can relate to this individual’s story as I experienced the same thing in my career. Rarely did a vacation go by that wasn’t interrupted in some way by work-related events that necessitated (or did they?) my involvement. In Smith’s example, now that the individual is retired, however, he is expected by family members to be at all family events because “what else did he have to do?”. The exponential growth of family events that interrupted this person’s “checklist of things to get done” was a serious irritation to the retiree as his perceived lack of productivity was a clear departure from his hard work belief. The solution, for the individual in the example and for me, is to realize that time with family and taking time for conversation IS a valuable substitute for the checklist items. Note, however, I still believe the “all things in moderation” statement holds within it some truth. I’ve been working on this belief and, hopefully, my family has noticed…. In addition to family time, this “hard work” belief has also gotten in the way of regular exercise for me. After all, when you grow upon the farm your work IS your exercise. Regular exercise is one of my earliest priorities.

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

Oscar Wilde

If I am busy I am important. Surprisingly, I think this belief is dealt with using the very tools we’re taught early in a business career. In a world of emails, social media and 24/7 news coverage, it’s easy to get caught up in the sheer volume of information and related activities (e.g., browsing the Internet and following the endless ratholes it holds). The key is to stop being busy and start being productive. In other words, time management, prioritization, and discipline. As Smith says in his book, “[w]hen you feel productive, you feel great at the end of the day.” And for this purpose, I interpret productive to mean having engaged in some degree of activities that provide value to you. If you’re a person who enjoys interacting with people, being a greeter at Walmart all day will make you feel good, while mowing the lawn may not. For me, I have found that I will be best served, at least at this stage, by having a routine and figuring out the balance between, and the timing of, reading, exercise, creative activities in the woodshop, joint activities with my amazing spouse, family time, time with friends, educational time, volunteerism, and hobbies. To accomplish this, I’ll need to limit the daily amount of time spent on, for example, emails and social media. I don’t need to be as responsive to emails as I was at work, so I won’t be. “Either you consciously plan and decide how you want to fill your time and act purposefully or you allow outside forces to fill your time for you.” (Purposeful Retirement at page 45.)

Congratulations if you see the potential conflict between these two beliefs and the steps necessary to counteract them in retirement. No one said it was going to be easy, but it sure holds the prospect of being fun!

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.

J. Lubbock

A reflection on the past 75 days.

It was mid-September when we identified the date on which my successor would start at my place of employment. We decided that she would take over my roles effective on the date of our October board meeting, we would transition from mid-October to late December, and I would retire effective January 1. In addition, we had to develop a strategy to communicate the changes to my leadership team, to the departments reporting to me, to members of senior management, and more. While the recruitment process had taken months, its conclusion came together very quickly.

As we finalized the plans described above, there was some debate as to whether I would retain my titles until the end of the year or only until the October board meeting when my successor would officially join the members of senior management. I took a few days to think about this and, in the end, concluded it was best for me, my successor and the organization to have the changes, including staff reporting relationships, take effect in mid-October. I would become Executive Legal Advisor, a role which allowed me to provide counsel to my successor and our CEO, and which established clear roles and responsibilities between me and my successor until my retirement. But, my roles as chief legal officer and corporate secretary, which I had worked towards for my entire career and had held for the past nearly 10 years, would end in a mere three weeks. How did I feel about it?

As I stated in a prior blog, my mantra has been “I work to live, not the other way around.” Further, while I have identified with the job titles as reflective of my role, they have not defined how I work with people. I prefer to work collaboratively with people and have seldom had to use “position authority” to get things done. Individually these two approaches don’t mean much, but collectively the result was that perhaps I didn’t identify with the titles as much as someone who is in the “kicking and screaming” camp as defined by Smith in his book, Purposeful Retirement, described in an earlier blog. In addition, I have always known that I had several titles: son, husband, dad, brother, mentor, mentee, and so on.

I was not; I have been; I am not; I do not mind.

Epicurus

In his book “How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free,” Ernie Zelinski states that the mind has been destructive if “it has created a false identity that is solely associated with your career or job. This identity is false because it is nothing more than a fiction of the mind.” Zelinski goes on to state that “[y]ou must transcend your own mind and societal thinking to discover and get in touch with your true identity – or “essence” as some spiritual leaders call it.” It’s this getting in touch with my personal essence that led me to the book “Why Buddism is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment” by Robert Wright. I’ll spend more time on this book in later blog entries. For now, let’s focus on Zelinski’s approach to finding your “essence.”

• Start by imagining that work in the world was abolished. Write down what kind of person you would want to be in a non-work world. In addition, write down your 5 best traits. If you’re not sure where to start, ask someone who isn’t currently employed how they describe themselves.
• Look at it, read it. Again and again. Tweak it if you must. After you’ve done this, you should realize that your true self is based on the experience of being human, and the joy and peace of mind that accompany the experience of being human.
• And what does it mean to “be human?” Your true self is not based on some superficial identity, work-related or otherwise. Your true self is based on more profound things, such as your creativity, kindness, passionate pursuits, generosity, love, joy, spontaneity, connectedness to others, sense of humor, peace of mind, inner happiness, and spirituality.

Given all the opportunity that retirement offers for you to be your true self and become much more than you have ever been, there is no need to hang onto a work identity.

Ernie Zelinski, “How to Retire, Happy, Wild and Free.”

But what if you still want a title? While I don’t think a simple phrase will every truly define you, maybe you don’t want to simply be called a “retiree.” What would you like to be called? Have fun with it. Zelinsky gives a couple of options, including “Connoisseur of Leisure” and “Connoisseur of Life.” He goes on to provide the following talking points when you’re asked about your new title.

I am now a Connoisseur of Life. I am too prosperous to work
long and hard hours. I have earned my prosperity and deserve
the right to enjoy a creative and satisfying lifestyle. I am too spiritually
evolved to have an identity based on my work, possessions,
and net worth. Instead, my identity is based on more profound things,
including my creativity, my generosity, my spontaneity, my sense of humor,
my peace of mind, my passion for new experiences,
my happiness, and my spirituality.

I hope you find this exercise as freeing and productive as I did. Until next time, Happy Holidays!

When I reflect upon my career, I am in awe at the number of people at work who provided support during all phases. From the college to work transition, to the development within the Human Resources function, to the grueling law school phase, to the transition from HR to the Law Department, to the development within the Law function, to the transition to senior management, the sheer number of supporters I have had has been mind-boggling. I have been blessed beyond belief by the support of dozens upon dozens of people whose names include Kathy, Jerry, Keith, Laurie, Dwayne, Dennis, Bob, Sara, Mary, Don, Eric, Anna Marie, Donna, Alison, Bruce, Bill, George, Kristi, Lisa, Alyssa, JoAnn, Mike, Dan, Erich, Lyndsey, John, Sue, Rob, Chris, Larry, Melissa, Emily, etc., etc., etc. And, the beautiful thing is that the support didn’t only relate to work matters. It also related to personal matters such as a near-fatal skiing accident, the death of parents, the death of a sibling, and the birth of a child. It’s a special place where people come together not only to support the furtherance of commerce and the growth of a business, but also to support each other in times of hardship despite the prior common goal.

Sure, there have been times where certain coworkers have been challenging to work with (and vice versa, I’m sure). And while I could dwell on that, those times are dwarfed by the times of grace and gratitude. To quote Marcus Aurelius, Roman Soldier and Emperor, “Our life is what our thoughts make it.” Or, if you prefer a Greek philosopher’s view, “People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them” (Epictetus, 55 – 135).

The above, of course, addresses only the support received from coworkers. As important, of course, is the support, encouragement and “2×4 to the head moments” received from friends and family outside the work sphere. It is there where our true personalities and frustrations, unconstrained by the norms of the work environment, often come out. It is outside of work, therefore, where a great amount of gratitude is also warranted. So, my thanks to family members who didn’t see me much during the law school years, to those whose vacations were impacted by the predictable work events that would disrupt our time off, to my children who sacrificed time with their father due to the demands of work and to the friends who provided a listening ear so that I had somewhere to vent.

I am truly touched by the people who take time to develop others, whether in their professional or personal lives. I have clearly benefited from such people and my appreciation for their efforts is beyond my capacities of explanation. For those of you who helped further my career, who helped me view things in a different light, and who made me a better person, I am forever grateful that you took the time to do so. “No man is wise enough by himself,” Plautus, Roman playwright (254 – 184 BCE).

I’ll provide more on this topic as I move past the next few weeks and into retirement itself.